English 2 hindi translator

Englis 2 hindi translator..
Have a nice day!
—– * Achcha din lo!

What’s up?
—– *Uppar kya hai?

You’re kidding!
—– *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don’t kid me!
—– * Mera bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What’s up?
—–* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
—–* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man!
—-* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don’t mess with me, dude.
—– * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She’s so fine!
—– * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?
—– * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what’s cooking?
—-* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts?
—– * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.
—– * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party.
—- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are…..

How do you do?
—– * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch!
—– * Chhoote Raho

Why a Student fails…?

Why the students fail???

It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365′ days.

Typical academic year for a student:

Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.

2 hours daily for food & other delicacies means 30days.
Days left 96.

1 hour for talking means 15 days.
Days left 81.

Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.

That 1 day is your birthday
How can you study on that day???
Balance =0

So How can a student pass??????

A Love Letter

A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.

HE WROTE:
Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation, I have a strong indication to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication, that I have passed my matriculation examination (no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation). What do you say to the solemnization of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilization and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint dissimulation.

Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion; to remain victim of your fascination.

SHE ANSWERED:
Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,
Congratulation for your lengthy narration of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation for a combination which on examination I find is a fine presentation of your ambition.
You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, what about my graduation after a long botheration, so improve situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation and minimum qualification for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation undergo beautification. Further strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for the determination of our relation.

1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection.
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of any fascination and,
3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of paper conversation.

I remain, unaffected by your affection.

New Element - Women

NEW ELEMENT IN THE PERIODIC TABLE

Element: WOMEN

Symbol: WO+

Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.

Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1. Boils at room temperature

2. Freezes without any known reason.

3. Melts if given special treatment.

4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.

5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES

1. Have great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones
and absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.

2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.

3. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES

1. Highly ornamental, good samples can increase your social value.

2. Can be great aid to administration.

TESTS

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.

2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen

Letter To God..India

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, But nothing happened.

Finally he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs.50 . When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to “God, India”, they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.

The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:

“Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys must have deducted Rs.30 as taxes!”

How to recruit the Right Person ?

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT
PERSON FOR THE JOB?Put about 100 bricks in

no
particular order in a closed
room with an
open window.Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back
after 6 hours and then analyze
the  situation.

If they are counting the
bricks.
Put them in the accounts
department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the
whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the
bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the
bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks
into pieces.
Put them in information
technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried
different combinations, yet
not a brick has
been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for
the day.
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the
window.
Put them on strategic
planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are standing around talking to each
other and not a single brick
has been moved, Congratulate them and put them
in top management.

 

Microsoft Products in Hindi

Bill Gates had announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.

Here are some Windows related terms that are to be used in the Hindi version of ……..

Khidkiyan’DoHazar ( Windows 2000 ):

1.Phaail = File
2.Bachao = Save
3.Aise Bachao = Save as
4.Subko Bachao = Save All
5.Mujhe Bachao = Help
6.Dhoondo = Find
7.Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
8.Hilao = Move
9.Daak =Mail
10.Dakiya = Mailer
11.Paas se dhekho = Zoom
12.Door se dhekho = Zoom Out
13.Kholo = Open
14.Bandh Karo = Close
15.Naya = New
16.Purana/Khatara = Old
17.Badli Karo = Replace
18.Bhaago = Run
19.Chaapo = Print
20.Dekh Ke Chaapo = Print Preview
21.Nakal Utaaro/Kaapi =Copy
22.Kaato = Cut
23.Chipkao = Paste
24.Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
25.Goli Maaro = Delete
26.Nazaara = View
27.Hatyaar = Tools
28.Hatyaar Khamba = Toolbar
29.Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
30.Kalti Maaro = Exit
31.Ped = Tree
32.Tthooso = Compress
33.Chooha = mouse
34.Tik Karo = Click
35.Tik-Tik Karo = Double Click
36.Idhar-se-Udhar - Forward
37.khamba= Scrollbar

Additional Softwares

1.MICROSOFT WINDOWS 2000 - ATISUKSHMA MULAYAM
(microsoft) KHIDKIYAAN (windows) AVRUTTI (version)DOHAZAR (2000)

2. Double Click with the left mouse button.
Chuhe ke baye kaan ko jhatpat do baar marodkar tadak-tadak’=(clik-click)kariye

3. GPF(GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT) -
Sarvasaadharan Suraksha Mein Gadbad

4. ‘This program has performed an illegal operation - “Abort,Retry or Ignore” ?
“Is karyakram ne gairkanooni kaam kiya hai -zatak se bandkaro (abort),
Koshish karte raho/Hum onge Kamyaab retry), nazar andaz karo (Ignore)”

5. MICROSOFT POWERPOINT - “AtiSukshma Mulayam ShaktiBindu”
6. MICROSOFT WORD 6 - “AtiSukshma Mulayam Shabda Cheh”
7. MICROSOFT ACCESS - “AtiSukshma Mulayam PRAVESH KI SAMMATI”
8. FOXPRO - “Lombdigiri (Lomiree) mein Maahir”
9. MICROSOFT VISUAL C++ -
“AtiSukshma Mulayam Nazaaraa C adhik hi adhik”

10. OFFICE 2000 - “Karyalaya 2000 mein”
11. Internet Explorer - “Taaron ke Jaal ka Sanshodhak”
12. Lotus Notes - ” Kamal ke Ruppeye

Where Is God ???

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.

They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town,

The two boys are probably involved.

The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, So she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, ��ｦ竰�直Do you know where God is, son?”

The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide- eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time.
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GOD is missing, and they think we did it! !!!!