Worldwide Survey word by word

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
 

The only question asked was:

“Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the shortage of food in rest of the world”. 

The survey was a huge failure…….. Do you know WHY?

 

* In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant.

 

Marketing Strategy - must read

The Manager says: “Do you have any sales experience?” The Salesman says: “Sir, I was a salesman back for five years”
Well, the boss liked the salesman, so he gave him the job. ” You start tomorrow, I will come down after we close and see how you did.” His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?” Salesman says: “Sir, Just ONE sale.” The boss says: “Just one? No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 0r 30 sales a day.” If you want to keep this job, you would better be doing better than just one sale.

By the way, how much was the sale for?” Salesman says: “$101237.64″

Boss says: “$101237.64? what the hell did you sell?” Salesman says: ” Sir, First I sold him small fish-hook”.

Then I sold him medium fish-hook. Then I sold him large fish-hook.

Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I ask him where he’s going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he’ll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sold him twin engine Chris Craft.

Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.

The boss said: “You’re not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fish-hook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?”

Salesman says: ” No Sir, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind.”

A nice one….. TIT 4 TAT…..must read … enjoy dear all

TIT FOR TAT

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.

After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, “Er… Excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?”

She responds in a loud voice : ” NO, I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”

Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.

The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.

After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says, “You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

The young man responds loudly with, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. THATS TOO MUCH !”

You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

This should probably be taped
to your bathroom mirror
where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it,
but it’s 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world
that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
is because they want to
be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don’t
like you.

5. Every night,
SOMEONE thinks about you
before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.

10 When you think the world
has turned its back on you
take another look.

11 Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.

So………
If you are a loving friend,
send this to everyone,
including the one that sent it to you.
If you get it back, then they really do love you.

And always remember….
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

Good friends are like stars……..
You don’t always see them,
But you know they are always there.

“Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though
Sometimes It’s Hell in the Hallway”

I would rather have one rose and a kind word
from a friend while I’m here
than a whole truck load when I’m gone.

Forward to all your friends.
And don’t tell me you’re too busy for this..
Don’t you know the phrase
“stop and smell the flowers”?
See how many “bouquets” you end up with!

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only
God keeps You Going

Message from Dr APJ Kalam Spend 10mts must read

H e l l o F r i e n d s..

I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India. For her, you and I will have to build this developed India. You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.

Do you have 10 minutes?

Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.

* YOU say that our government is inefficient.
* YOU say that our laws are too old.
* YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
* YOU say that the phones don’t work; the railways are a joke, The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
* YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
* YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it? Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name…YOURS. Give him a face…YOURS.

* YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. - In Singapore you don’t throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores.
* YOU are as proud of their Underground Links as they are.
* You pay $5(approx. Rs.60) to drive through Orchard Road(equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM.
* YOU comeback to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over-stayed, identity. In Singapore you don’t say anything, DO YOU?
* YOU wouldn’t dare to eat in public during Ramadan,in Dubai.
* YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.

* YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds(Rs.650) a month to, “see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.”
* YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, “Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so’s son.
* YOU wouldn’t chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand. Why don’t YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don’t YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston????? We are still talking of the same YOU.

* YOU can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch the Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India?
* Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal Commissioner of Bombay, Mr.Tinaikar, had a point to make. “Rich people’s dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,” he said. “And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?

In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan. Will the Indian citizen do that here?” He’s right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility. We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pickup a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.

We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staff that is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry,girl child and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? “It’s the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my son’s rights to a dowry.

” So who’s going to change the system? What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and The government. But definitely not me and YOU.When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr. Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.

* Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. - When New York becomes insecure we run to England.
* When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. - When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, the article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one’s conscience too?..

I am echoing J.F. Kennedy’s words to his fellow American to relate to Indians?. “ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY” Let’s do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or junk mails.

Thank You, Dr. Abdul Kalaam –

IS SOMETHING BOTHERING AND WORRYING YOU ??

SOMETHING BOTHERING AND WORRYING YOU ??

 

DON’T COMPLAIN….

AND IF, IN SPITE OF

EVERYTHING, YOU KEEP

GETTING YOURSELF

WORRIED…

LOOK AROUND YOU..

THANK GOD

FOR EVERYTHING

THAT HE ALLOWS

YOU TO HAVE IN

THIS BRIEF LIFE…

REMIND YOURSELF

TO ASK LESS

AND THINK MORE !!!

PLEASE, PASS THIS ON!