Friendsssssssss



HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q:1 I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A:1 Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it.Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q:2 Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A:2 You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q:3 Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:3 No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q:4 How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:4 Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:5 What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A:5 Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good !

Q:6 Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A:6 YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q:7 Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A:7 Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q:8 Is chocolate bad for me?

A:8 Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q:9 Is swimming good for your figure?

A:9 If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q:10 Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A:10 Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Advertisements

I Lost my wife : (Ladies should read not to be missed)

A man went to police station for filing report for his missing wife:

Man: I lost my wife (misty)

Inspector: what is her height

Man; I never noticed

Inspectior:slim or healthy

Man: not slim can be healthy

Inspector: colour of eyes

Man: Never noticed

Inspector: colour of hair

Man: changes according to season

Inspector: what was she wearing

Man: Saree/suit/ I dont remember exactly

Inspector:was somebody with her ?????????


Man: Yes








my Labra dog (romeo)





tied with a golden chain

height 30 inches

healthy,

blue eyes,

blackish brown hair

his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken

he never barks

wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls

he likes non veg food

we sleep together

we eat together

we jog together

we___________________&

the man started crying








Inspector: Lets search the dog first !!!!!!!!!!!!!


1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”

22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos.


113 Useful RUN Commands – Windows XP

Accessibility Controls access.cpl

Add Hardware Wizard hdwwiz.cpl

Add/Remove Programs appwiz.cpl

Administrative Tools control admintools

Automatic Updates wuaucpl.cpl

Bluetooth Transfer Wizard fsquirt

Calculator calc

Certificate Manager certmgr.msc

Character Map charmap

Check Disk Utility chkdsk

Clipboard Viewer clipbrd

Command Prompt cmd

Component Services dcomcnfg

Computer Management compmgmt.msc

Date and Time Properties timedate.cpl

DDE Shares ddeshare

Device Manager devmgmt.msc

Event Viewer eventvwr.msc

File Signature Verification Tool sigverif

Findfast findfast.cpl

Free Cell Card Game freecell

Game Controllers joy.cpl

Group Policy Editor gpedit.msc

Hearts Card Game mshearts

Iexpress Wizard iexpress

Indexing Service ciadv.msc

Internet Properties inetcpl.cpl

IP Configuration (Display Connection Configuration) ipconfig /all

IP Configuration (Display DNS Cache Contents) ipconfig /displaydns

IP Configuration (Delete DNS Cache Contents) ipconfig /flushdns

IP Configuration (Release All Connections) ipconfig /release

IP Configuration (Renew All Connections) ipconfig /renew

IP Configuration (Refreshes DHCP & Re-Registers DNS) ipconfig /registerdns

IP Configuration (Display DHCP Class ID) ipconfig /showclassid

IP Configuration (Modifies DHCP Class ID) ipconfig /setclassid

Java Control Panel (If Installed) jpicpl32.cpl

Java Control Panel (If Installed) javaws

Keyboard Properties control keyboard

Local Security Settings secpol.msc

Local Users and Groups lusrmgr.msc

Logs You Out Of Windows logoff

Microsoft Chat winchat

Minesweeper Game winmine

Mouse Properties control mouse

Mouse Properties main.cpl

Network Connections control netconnections

Network Connections ncpa.cpl

Network Setup Wizard netsetup.cpl

Notepad notepad

Nview Desktop Manager face=Verdana> nvtuicpl.cpl

Object Packager packager

ODBC Data Source Administrator odbccp32.cpl

On Screen Keyboard osk

Opens AC3 Filter (If Installed) ac3filter.cpl

Password Properties password.cpl

Performance Monitor perfmon.msc

Performance Monitor perfmon

Phone and Modem Options telephon.cpl

Power Configuration powercfg.cpl

Printers and Faxes control printers

Printers Folder printers

Private Character Editor eudcedit

Quicktime style=”font-size:10.0pt;(If Installed) QuickTime.cpl

Regional Settings intl.cpl

Registry Editor regedit

Registry Editor regedit32

Remote Desktop mstsc

Removable Storage ntmsmgr.msc

Removable Storage Operator Requests ntmsoprq.msc

Resultant Set of Policy (XP Prof) rsop.msc

Scanners and Cameras sticpl.cpl

Scheduled Tasks control schedtasks

Security Center wscui.cpl

Services services.msc

Shared Folders fsmgmt.msc

Shuts Down Windows shutdown

Sounds and Audio mmsys.cpl

Spider Solitare Card Game spider

SQL Client Configuration cliconfg

System Configuration Editor sysedit

System Configuration Utility msconfig

System File Checker Utility (Scan Immediately) sfc /scannow

System File Checker Utility (Scan Once At Next Boot) sfc /scanonce

System File Checker Utility (Scan On Every Boot) sfc /scanboot

System File Checker Utility (Return to Default Setting) sfc /revert

System File Checker Utility (Purge File Cache) sfc /purgecache

System File Checker Utility (Set Cache Size to size x) sfc /cachesize=x

System Properties sysdm.cpl

Task Manager taskmgr

Telnet Client telnet

User Account Management nusrmgr.cpl

Utility Manager utilman

Windows Firewall firewall.cpl

Windows Magnifier magnify

Windows Management Infrastructure wmimgmt.msc

Windows System Security Tool syskey

Windows Update Launches wupdmgr

Windows XP Tour Wizard tourstart

Wordpad write


THE GREAT INDIAN LOOT

Is India a poor Country?

Revelation of Swiss Bank Accounts

This is so shocking. If black money deposits were an Olympics event, India would have won a gold medal hands down.

Russia , the second best, has four times less deposit.

US does not even figure in the top five!

India has more money in Swiss banks than all the other countries combined!!!!
Recently, due to international pressure, the Swiss government agreed to disclose the names of the account holders, but only if the respective governments formally asked for it. The Indian government is not asking for the details. No marks for guessing why!
We need to start a movement to pressure the government to do so. This is perhaps the only way – and a golden opportunity – to expose the high and mighty and weed out corruption.
Please read on and forward to all honest Indians to build a ground-swell of support for action.
Is India poor? Ask Swiss banks with personal account deposit bank of $1500 billion in foreign reserve which have been misappropriated. Considering that the amount is 13 times larger than the country’s foreign debt, one needs to rethink if India is indeed a poor country
Illegal personal accounts in foreign banks of dishonest industrialists, scandalous politicians and corrupt IAS, IRS, IPS officers have a sum of around $ 1500 billion – an amount about 13 times larger than the country’s foreign debt. With this amount, 45 crore poor people can get Rs 1,00,000 each.
This huge amount has been appropriated from the people of India by exploiting and betraying them.
Once this huge amount of black money comes back to India , the entire foreign debt can be repaid in 24 hours. After paying the entire foreign debt, we will have surplus amount, almost 12 times larger than the foreign debt. If this surplus amount is invested in earning interest, the amount of interest will be more than the annual budget of the Central government. So even if all the taxes are abolished, then too the Central government will be able to maintain the country very comfortably.
Some 80,000 people travel to Switzerland every year, of whom 25,000 travel very frequently. ‘Obviously, these people won’t be tourists. They must be travelling there for some other reason,’ believes an official involved in tracking illegal money. And, clearly, he isn’t referring to the commerce ministry bureaucrats who’ve been flitting in and out of Geneva ever since the World Trade Organisation (WTO) negotiations went into a tailspin!
Just read the following details and note how these dishonest industrialists, scandalous politicians, corrupt officers, cricketers, film actors, illegal sex trade and protected wildlife operators, to name just a few, sucked this country’s wealth and prosperity. This may be the picture of deposits in Swiss banks only. What about other international banks?
Black money in Swiss banks — Swiss Banking Association report, 2006 details bank deposits in the territory of Switzerland by nationals of following countries:
Top Five:

1. India —- $1,456 billion
2. Russia —$ 470 billion
3. UK ——-$390 billion
4. Ukraine – $100 billion
5. China —–$ 96 billion

Now do the maths – India with $1456 billion or $1.4 trillion has more money in Swiss banks than rest of the world combined.
Public loot since 1947: Can we bring back our money? It is one of the biggest loots witnessed by mankind — the loot of the Aam Aadmi (common man) since 1947, by his brethren occupying public office.

It has been orchestrated by politicians, bureaucrats and some businessmen. The list is almost all-encompassing. No wonder, everyone in India loots with impunity and without any fear. What is even more depressing in that this ill-gotten wealth of ours has been stashed away abroad into secret bank accounts located in some of the world’s best known tax havens. And to that extent the Indian economy has been stripped of its wealth.
Ordinary Indians may not be exactly aware of how such secret accounts operate and what are the rules and regulations that go on to govern such tax havens. However, one may well be aware of ‘Swiss bank accounts,’ the shorthand for murky dealings, secrecy and of course pilferage from developing countries into rich developed ones.
In fact, some finance experts and economists believe tax havens to be a conspiracy of the western world against the poor countries. By allowing the proliferation of tax havens in the 20th century, the western world explicitly encourages the movement of scarce capital from the developing countries to the rich.
In March 2005, the Tax Justice Network (TJN) published a research finding demonstrating that $11.5 trillion of personal wealth was held offshore by rich individuals across the globe. The findings estimated that a large proportion of this wealth was managed from some 70 tax havens. Further, augmenting these studies of TJN, Raymond Baker — in his widely celebrated book titled ‘Capitalism’s Achilles Heel: Dirty Money and How to Renew the Free Market System’ — estimates that at least $5 trillion have been shifted out of poorer countries to the West since the mid-1970.
It is further estimated by experts that 1 % of the world’s population holds more than 57 % of total global wealth, routing it invariably through these tax havens. How much of this is from India is anybody’s guess. What is to be noted here is that most of the wealth of Indians parked in these tax havens is illegitimate money acquired through corrupt means.

Naturally, the secrecy associated with the bank accounts in such places is central to the issue, not their low tax rates as the term ‘tax havens’ suggests. Remember Bofors and how India could not trace the ultimate beneficiary of those transactions because of the secrecy associated with these bank accounts?


HONESTY IS STILL THE BEST POLICY

Once a general manager wanted to test his people who had come from all over India, about their values of life.

He announced that in their seminar folder, there is PVC pouch and in it there is a seed. When they return ,

they must put it in a good soil in a pot and look after it very well.

He would hold a competition in the next year’s seminar and that the best plants would be awarded suitably.

Everyone did what was told to him. A year passed quickly. And next year in a big hall, there were hundreds of

pots and a great variety of plants-a great scene.

Except one pot in which the soil was there and no plant! The owner was standing quietly and seemingly ashamed

of himself!

The general manager called him on the stage. He asked him what happened and he told him the truth. He planted

the seed which he was given – and did that was to be done- but nothing happened!

The general manager declared him the winner!

Everyone was shocked. It was announced, “Gentlemen! The seeds I gave you were boiled seeds. You planted them

and nothing happened! You acted smartly and used some other seeds.

This man was honest to his work and, therefore he did not cheat me or himself!”


Why are Indian husbands called “MADE OF SILVER”

And

Why are American husbands called “MADE OF GOLD”

Socho

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

Thoda sur Socho

|
|
|
|
|
|
Socho Socho….

|
|
|
|
|
|

Nahi Aata

|
|
|
|
|
|
|

B
C
o
z

Indian wives call their husband “A g” ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)

American wives call their husband “A u” ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)

« Previous PageNext Page »