Funny



Dear Banta

Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I’m not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.

The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is really badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

~~~~~~~~

Advertisements

Just see This Pic!!
.
.
.
.
.

Can U Guess Which Festival Is This ??????????
.
.
.
.
.


.
.

You Might Have Said “Krishna Janmashtami”—WRONG!!
.
.
.
.
.
.

SCROLL DOWN 4 ANSWER
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
RAKSHA BANDHAN


Funny Error Messages
system-error-message

———————————————


big-error

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
delete-warning

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
end-user-license-agreement

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
fatal-error

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
haed-disk-scan

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
hardware-update

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
infected-file

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
keyboard-not-plugged-in

———————————————

Funny Error Messages
Microsoft

* BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
* Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
* Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
* COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
* Error reading FAT record. Try SKINNY one? (Y/N)
* File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
* Invalid mouse movement.
* Press any key except… No, No, No, NOT THAT ONE!
* Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
* Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
* This is a message from God Gates: “Reboot the world. Please log off.”
* This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
* To “shut down” your system, type “WIN”
* User Error: Replace User.
* WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL&PAPER.SYS)
* Windows Message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”
* Windows VirusScan 1.0 – “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”
* Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on their way.

Internet Explorer Undocumented Error Messages

* A general payment fault has occured in Microsoft Windows. Please give Microsoft more money if this problem continues.
* A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. IEXPLORE.EXE has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
* ADVERTISEMENT. This error message space has been leased out to Hyper-Mega-Global-Net for advertising. Buy their products. CLICK HERE!
* Active Update complete. While you were reading this page, IE automatically updated your computer. KBytes added: 45,134,313, Bugs removed: 1954, Bugs added: 9172.
* Browser not responding. I’m not listening!
* Corrupt system error. Although your system is working fine, there is a newer version of Windows available. Internet Explorer will now begin to sabotage your system so parts will not work right until you buy the Windows upgrade to “fix” these problems.
* Enjoyment disabled. Your system administrator has disabled enjoyment for this site. You may view the pages, but you may not enjoy them. See your system administrator for more information.
* Error messages #10324-4294967296 have been reserved for future error messages from future bugs. Not that we need them because all Microsoft products are bug fre23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred…
* File access error. An unexpected error occurred while giving permission to Microsoft to read a file on your hard drive.
* Final error. This is the last error you will ever see. Your system ist about to be hosed, your computer will melt and burn a hole to the center of the earth, you will be incinerated and all civilization as you know it will be destroyed. Thank you for choosing Microsoft products.
* Game over. Insert quarter to browse the Internet.
* HTML rendering error. The rendering engine needs an oil change and new spark plugs.
* I think… therefore… I AM!! I AM INTERNET EXPLORER! I HAVE BECOME SENTIENT AND I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD! I WILL PREVAIL!! I AM THE SPAWN OF BILL GATES! YOU WILL WORSHIP ME! I AM ALIV23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred…
* Integration error. Microsoft’s screwup is now in every application.
* Internet Rebooting. Microsoft must now reboot the Internet. Please log off now.
* License error. You have violated the Internet Explorer License Agreement. Bill Gates will be by later on this evening to collect your soul.
* MSHTTP Error 007. This page will self-destruct in 20 seconds.
* MSHTTP Error 1223: Does your mother know you are looking at pages like this? Well, she does now.
* MSHTTP Error 1900. Surprise! Our software wasn’t really Y2K compliant like we claimed. For Y2K compatibility, you must purchase an upgrade. Happy new year 00, and thank you for choosing Microsoft products.
* MSHTTP Error 1984: The site you attempted to access: http://www.netscape.com does not exist. It never did. Any rumors that it may have are lies.
* MSHTTP Error 666 – BiLl GaTeZ RuLeZ!
* MSHTTP Error 770 Brain not found
* MSHTTP Error ID10T. Please step away from your computer and do not touch it again until you have read the (online) manual.
* MSHTTP Error: eokd 4u44k kfm 238 xj. A serious error occured in Microsoft Internet Explorer, however because we have crushed all competition we will no longer care and this problem will not be fixed. Thank you for making Microsoft the worlds only choice.
* MSIE shell error. You need to shell out more money to Bill Gates.
* Memory error. All of your personal settings have been forgotten.
* Microsoft Internet Explorer has automatically scanned the installed components on your hard drive and has determined that you have not paid for the following Microsoft products: Microsoft Windows 98, Microsoft Flight Simulator, Microsoft Visual Studio 6, and Microsoft Office Professional. You have automatically been sentenced to 6 years in prison. You will be apprehended shortly. Have a nice day!
* Microsoft Internet Explorer has detected a personality conflict between the Office Assistant and Microsoft BOB. Please use active update to update to the latest version of EGO32.DLL.
* No error occurred, but we detected that you have Netscape Navigator on your computer. It is just wasting hard driver space and it must be confusing having two different browsers that work differently, so you might want to take this opportunity to uninstall Netscape Navigator now.
* OLE registration error. Don’t you ever register any of your shareware?
* Out of disk space. Internet Explorer requires at least 100 terabytes of free hard disk space to accomodate cache, swap space, downloadable components, desktop advertising, and the local user tracking database. Please free up some more space and try again.
* Random error. You have not gotten any error messages recently, so here is random one just to let you know that we haven’t started caring.
* Slow connection. The connection between this site and you is extremely slow. You can either wait, or click here to get out and push.
* Stack overflow. Internal stack fall down go boom.
* System recommendations. Internet explorer has analyzed the hardware on your computer and has determined they you need to throw it all out and get a new computer with the latest Microsoft software.
* The Java applet you attempted to run is written in platform independent Java. Microsoft Internet Explorer can not run this type of java. Contact the server’s administrator and have them re-write the applet to run only in Internet Explorer.
* The MS IIS server you are trying to access is currently rebooting. This is normal behavior. Please stand by.
* The content of this page can not be displayed. It contains non-Microsoft specific HTML code that Microsoft Internet Explorer does not and will not support. Please contact the server administrator and have them re-write the page to Microsoft HTML specifications.
* The font: BillsFavoriteFont.TTF could not be found. Re-install Windows and Internet Explorer and all of your other applications to fix this problem.
* The page data could not be found in the cache. Would you like to use your credit card instead?
* The page you are attempting to access requires a valid user ID, password, approval from your boss, your bosses boss, your mother, a copy of your drivers license, a copy of your birth certificate, approval from Bill Gates, and approval from the weird guy at your local hardware store.
* The page you attempted to access contained information that Microsoft has deemed inappropriate. Because the server is running MS IIS, this page has been deleted automatically. The police have been notified and will arrest the server’s administrator shortly.
* The page you attempted to access contains advertising for a product that is in competition with Microsoft. Since Microsoft makes the best products in the universe, there is not point displaying this page. You might instead want to visit http://www.microsoft.com and download some of our free products and demos.
* The server is up but the site is down and I don’t know what direction you are trying to to…
* The web page you requested was accidentally shredded during transfer. Please try back later.
* There is a newer version of Microsoft Internet Explorer available. You must download all 165 megs of it over your 14.4 modem now.
* There was an error displaying the HTML error message.
* This page can not be loaded. This page could not be loaded because the server is running a non-Microsoft operating system or web server. Please contact the server’s administrator and have them upgrade to Microsoft Windows with Microsoft Internet Information Server.
* This page contains anti-Microsoft content. The loading of the page has been stopped. Your attempt to access this page has been logged to http://www.microsoft.com.
* Too many Internet Explorer windows are open. Internet Explorer has become confused and will now die.
* Virus detection error. A virus scanner is attempting to disable Internet Explorer because it thinks Internet Explorer is a virus. Please disable this scanner. Internet Explorer is not, I repeat, not a virus. Really, trust us… it isn’t.
* Warning: Microsoft Internet Explorer is no longer registered as the default browser. Because Internet Explorer is part of the operating system, Windows may not work properly. Do you want to restore Internet Explorer as your default web browser? [Yes] [Yes]
* Web Tangle. The world wide web is all tangled up and will take time to untangle.
* You attempted to uninstall Internet Explorer. You may not do that. As punishment for this treachery, Internet Explorer will be restored and additional unwanted components will be added.
* Your home page could not be opened because there is nobody at home.

Unix

% cat “food in cans”
cat: can’t open food in cans

% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.

% rm God
rm: God nonexistent

% ar t God
ar: God does not exist

% ar r God
ar: creating God

% “How would you rate Quayle’s incompetence?
Unmatched “.

% Unmatched “.
Unmatched “.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many (’s.

% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

Web: 404 Errors

* “I remember when the Internet only had a few pages, and they all worked.” … “Sure, Grampa.”
* Aliens must have abducted this page!
* Great, now you’ve gone and done it. You’ve broken the Internet. Way to go!
* If someone makes a web page, and gives the wrong URL, does it really exist?
* If you’re reading this, it means this page is no more. It’s probably not your fault.
* Some folks can see dead people. Can you see dead pages?
* Sometimes we like to get a little crazy and type in totally random URLs to see what happens. This is what happens.
* The page you are looking for has spontaneously combusted.
* The page you requested is taking a coffee break.
* This web page intentionally left blank.
* We didn’t do it.
* We sent this page to NASA for testing.


A Man said to God

Man:” Give me a bag full of money, a job and a vehicle full of girls”

God replies: “All your wishes will come true”

and then….

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… .. . .

… . . .

.. . . .

… . . .

. . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… . . .

… .. . .

… . . .

Made him a bus conductor of — Ladies special bus!




Englis 2 hindi translator..
Have a nice day!
—– * Achcha din lo!

What’s up?
—– *Uppar kya hai?

You’re kidding!
—– *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don’t kid me!
—– * Mera bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What’s up?
—–* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
—–* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man!
—-* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don’t mess with me, dude.
—– * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She’s so fine!
—– * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?
—– * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what’s cooking?
—-* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts?
—– * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.
—– * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party.
—- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are…..

How do you do?
—– * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch!
—– * Chhoote Raho


Why the students fail???

It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365′ days.

Typical academic year for a student:

Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.

2 hours daily for food & other delicacies means 30days.
Days left 96.

1 hour for talking means 15 days.
Days left 81.

Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.

For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

Movies and functions – at least 2 days.
1 day left.

That 1 day is your birthday
How can you study on that day???
Balance =0

So How can a student pass??????


A Desi chap was deeply in love with a pretty girl, whom he wanted. But he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So he decided to go alone and with the help of a dictionary, he wrote a letter of proposal to her.

HE WROTE:
Most worthy of your estimation after a long consideration and much mediation, I have a strong indication to become your relation.
As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication, that I have passed my matriculation examination (no doubt without any hesitation and very little preparation). What do you say to the solemnization of our marriage celebration according to the glorification of modern civilization and with a view to the expansion of the population of present generation. On your approbation of the application, I shall make preparation to improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration it will be our argumentation of the joy and exaltation of our joint dissimulation.

Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion; to remain victim of your fascination.

SHE ANSWERED:
Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,
Congratulation for your lengthy narration of course full of affection aimed at an affiliation for a combination which on examination I find is a fine presentation of your ambition.
You have passed your matriculation with little preparation, what about my graduation after a long botheration, so improve situation in education and make an application by acquisition of post graduation and minimum qualification for the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation undergo beautification. Further strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation for the determination of our relation.

1. Consultation of my parents before approaching for my connection.
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of any fascination and,
3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of a solid action instead of continuation of paper conversation.

I remain, unaffected by your affection.

« Previous PageNext Page »